Internalized Voice after Trauma

The world has a way of telling us all the ways in which we’re bad and not good enough. It has a way of sending us messages that we’re flawed and imposters of life.

At our rock bottoms, we are reminded how awful we are and how the plethora of behaviors we engage in that are self sabotaging and burdens to others.

Please allow me to be the voice you internalize that says otherwise. That you may believe that you’re in a crappy place, that you may feel like you’re a disappointment to yourself and others, that you might keep relapsing, engaging in self harm, hating yourself, carrying so much shame, stuck, and going against the very things that are helpful and healing to you- because these are survival strategies you so perfectly engineered to keep you safe. Naturally, we’ve all done it. Therapists and non-therapists alike. The human body and mind desire to survive through early childhood traumas, so we develop and master parts and behaviors that help us cope and dissociate.

You’re not crazy. You’ve had to create an entire inner world to get you through abuse, neglect, abandonment, distress, narcissism, betrayal, exploitation. You did what you needed to do to survive. Now, these behaviors are just trying to save you from a danger you’re no longer in…or a threat you can deal with in healthier ways.

I honor the parts of myself that have brought me to this point in my life. I don’t necessarily like these parts and they’re very stressful for me if I go down the rabbit hole of shame, but I’m grateful these parts are the pillars that helped me get to the point where I can help others. I’ll forever be a work in progress, but I allow myself to be such.